Another year - The 14th !
The Killeen House's quest to serve ALL your online needs!
St Patrick's Day competition winners
Best Dining Experience Award for Rozzers AGAIN
Read about what Michael and Geraldine's job consists of..
Killeen House : the "stress-free zone"

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And welcome to the 2nd Annual Newsletter of the Killeen House Hotel
We were absolutely thrilled with the feedback to last year's letter and a most sincere 'thank you' to all those of you (over 300!) who took time out to respond back to us - it was truly appreciated
We opened for the Season on April 15th and plan to stay going until late October, before hibernating for the winter
This is our 14th Season, and it finally dawned on us that the line of the song "…… another year older and deeper in debt" was designed with us in mind. But guess what? If the Bank Manager is stupid enough to keep on giving us money, then let him worry about it!

Thankfully, nearly all of our superb Staff, including Paul, Collette, Charlie, Maureen, Janet and Stephen, are back again with us for another year. The only 'deserter' is little Mary, our own personal WMD. After 4 years with us, she has gone off to take up a position of Asst Catering Manager in the local General Hospital in Tralee. We were really sorry to lose her - and we were delighted to see her go too! Funny old life isn't it?

Anyway, here's some news and comments. We hope you enjoy them, and we hope to see a lot of you in the Killeen House (either repeaters or first timers!) over the course of the year
All the best

Michael (The Boss) and Geraldine (The REAL Boss)



Farewell, good and faithful servant…… its been great knowing you……you have served the Killeen House loyally and faithfully, industriously and productively over the course of the last 10 years……but we're dumping you…consigning you to the rubbish heap… … you're gonski… …finito… kaput… …imithe (Gaelic!)……exit, stage left… … hasta la vista… don't bang the door on your way out… … etc. etc. etc.
No, Geraldine hasn't just fired Michae…….
The Killeen House is proud to launch an all new Website - still at the same old address, but with a completely new look and lots of new content.
We think our Web King/guru/master/Emperor, Sean Clifford, has done some incredible work in developing the new Site, and we hope you'll agree!
If you have the time, please take a look at it , and let us know what you think.

Remember that the site is still very much work in progress so we would very much appreciate your constructive comments on how you feel we might be able to improve on it from the user's point of view. - We would love to hear from you - Just click HERE to leave us your comments


MICHAEL ; God, but life is so sad for so many people, my dearest darling beautiful wife

GERALDINE ; What do you mean, oh handsome and manly hunk of a husband?

MICHAEL ; Well, my precious jewel, remember we decided to have that St Patrick’s Day Competition, and wondered if anyone would bother to reply to it?

GERALDINE ; Of course I do, sweet love of my life and centre of my Universe

MICHAEL ; Believe it or not, pearl of the East and Star of the Orient, over 200 sad souls took the time to reply

GERALDINE ; Goodness gracious me, beloved and priceless fount of my happiness, what were all these replies like?

MICHAEL ; Actually, bright shining light of my life, some of them were really good, and clearly showed people had made a big effort

GERALDINE ; And have you picked out the winners, my darling love?

MICHAEL ; Not I, sweet heart of love and purity. I gathered together a distinguished panel of past Nobel Prize winners, locked them into a dark room, and denied them food and drink, until they reached a unanimous decision as to who the Winners were

(Drum roll and bugles in background… …)

And the winners are ;-

5th prize – Unfortunately we don't have a 5th prize, but because your effort was honourable there's a pint of Guinness waiting for you in the Pub!

Tadgh O Clumhain

4th prize – 6 (unused) Killeen House monogrammed paper napkins!!!

Mike Hembree

3rd prize – (slightly used) Killeen House Bic pen!!!

Jim Halpin

Runner-up prize – a bottle of Kerry Spring sparkling mineral water!!!

Robert Cable

And theWINNER of our Grand Prize of a bottle of Midleton Very Rare – the World’s finest (Irish of course!) Whiskey is

Richard Johnston

Congratulations to each and every one of you – we are delighted to recognize your innate talents in such a public way – but don’t let it go to your heads please. (One of our people from Killeen House Hotel Corporate World HQ – Prize Winners Division, will shortly be in touch with you to arrange delivery of these valuable prizes)

To all the rest of you, as our teenage kids might say “better luck next time, losers”

For those interested in reading the very amusing competition entries.. they can be found HERE


Every year, Ireland's biggest Tour Operator, CIE International Tours, presents a series of Awards to members of the Irish Tourism Industry, with whom their Clients have had dealings. This particular Award Scheme is voted upon strictly by the Clients, and no one else. And CIE dealt with in excess of 400 Hotels throughout Ireland.
Like last year The Rozzers Restaurant @ The Killeen House won CIE International's 2004 Award for the Best Dining Experience in Ireland. We are tremendously proud of this accolade, and we invite you to come see why CIE's Clients have honoured us with this Award - ROZZERS


Anyone who has ever come within an ass’s roar of the Killeen House will know that the Lady Geraldine is the real power and brains behind it all, and that Michael’s role is as the pretty face of the operation (???)

But did you ever stop and really think about the nature of their job, and what it is they actually do? Of course you didn’t – you were too busy enjoying yourselves!

But, if you were to give it a bit of thought, you might conclude that this piece below is maybe an accurate enough reflection of what goes on in a day in the life of both Michael and Geraldine


A Hotelier must be a diplomat, a democrat, an autocrat, an acrobat, a technocrat and a doormat. He must have the ability to entertain prime ministers, princes, pickpockets, gamblers, bookmakers, pirates, philanthropists, and prudes. He must be on both sides of the political fence and must also be able to jump over, crawl under, or even sit on the top of that fence.

He should be a golfer, footballer, 10 pin bowler, tennis player, cricketer, baseball player, darts player, sailor, bird watcher, motor racer and ballerina, as well as having a good knowledge of any and all sports involving dice, dogs, cards, horses and pool halls. It is also useful, given that he sometimes has to settle arguments and squabbles, that he be a qualified boxer, sumo wrestler, kung fu fighter, weightlifter, sprinter and peacemaker.

He must always look and behave immaculately, when drinking and socializing with the ladies and gentlemen already mentioned, as well as bankers, lawyers, doctors, dentists, hustlers, rustlers, dancers and chancers, even though he has just made peace between any or all of these valued patrons.

To be truly successful he must keep the car park full, the pub full, the rooms full, the restaurant full, the food stores full, the wine cellars full, the customers full, and not get too full himself.

He must employ people who are clean, honest, quick workers, quick thinkers, non-drinkers, mathematicians, statisticians and technicians, who are at all times on the customer's side, the boss's side and the outside of the bar.

To sum it all up; a true Hotelier must be outside, inside, offside, onside, glorified, sanctified, vilified, stupefied, crucified and cross-eyed.

And if he's not strong and stout, silent and sincere, and tried and trusted, he can always contemplate book-keeping, bee-keeping, jail-keeping, zoo-keeping, game-keeping – anything but hotel-keeping!!


A great friend of ours, Ronnie Counihan, of the Renvyle House Hotel up in Connemara, claims this his place is Europe’s only “stress-free zone”

And last year a Guest of ours, on his departure from the Killeen House, said we should consider re-naming it the “De-stress House Hotel” (And yes – he had paid his bill at that stage….!!)

Then, over the Winter I got this wonderful piece in from one of our regular Guests, Tim Horan, all about stress. We would like to share it with you, in the hope that even if it doesn’t bring about a radical change in your life-style, it might at least bring a small grin to your face


A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it." "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." "Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short Enjoy it!

It's a good one, isn't it?

I thought I would add a few apt little sayings that might be good mottoes for someone and help you deal with the burdens of life :

Accept the fact that on some days you're the pigeon, and on others, you're the statue

Keep your words soft and nice - you never know when you might have to eat them.

Only read stuff that would make you look good if you died in the middle of it.

Drive with care. Cars aren't the only things that can be re-called by their Maker.

Never own a case you can't carry, or a car you can't push.

It's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Some mistakes are too much fun to be made just the once.

You are truly a happy person if you can enjoy the scenery on a detour

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today..........We did

This is a newsletter that contains subjective information and articles about the wonderful Killeen House Hotel, Killarney, Kerry and Ireland. In the 'unlikely event' that you no longer wish to receive this newsletter, please unsubscribe by visiting our Newsletter section here. Unauthorized distribution or commercial use of this e-mail is both permitted and encouraged. Send it to your friends and family, or print it out and pull it out for your golfing buddies on that long walk down the fairway!
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